It. Sucks.
And fortunately, thats good news, my summer is coming to the best sucky ending, I am going to be greeted by Auntie Heather's new book(and first of the series) The Slayer Chronicles, First Kill!!! If you haven't heard of her, Heather Brewer is the New York Times Bestselling Author of The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod, and this series is her very first set of books and, I kid you not, she is one amazing author! This is extremely exciting, its a spinoff of the CoVT. And, for fear of giving absolutely anything away, I can't say anymore than its about a vampire slayer. :)=
so......on to the gory mess that is my life. I have this amazing boyfriend. He is awesome. BUT! The more time I spend away from him the more my feelings for him go away. When I actually see him, I light up and I'm the happiest bird there ever was in this world. I hate this. I should actually be missing him when I am apart from him for even one minute. I don't like the fact that the more time I spend being his "perfect goddess" (his word not mine) I am creating more of a bond with him and the more that breaking that bond will hurt. I was thinking we would've broken up a long time ago. And I have no idea how to end it. And no reason to do so. Other than that I want to meet someone who understands and knows me. And the thing is, he doesn't know me, not the real me. And the deal with that is that I won't let him. I don't want to.
So, my life is headed in a downward spiral, I'm thinking of taking up the knife again and continuing on as the people in my life buzz around for a while then leave. It happened with my elementary school friends (yes, I know it's only supposed to last for a little while, but the change from 'friend' to 'i don't know you' was very abrupt), it happened with my middle school friends (again same thing), and since I just graduated high school, it hasn't happened.....yet. Yes, I'm a high school graduate but think about it, are all high school graduates really that smart? or mature? So, don't judge this inbetweener as she writes about the wrecked car that is her life.
Well, I think I will be writing on this more often, I will be in college an will have NO PARENTS to fucking breathe down my back about doing my work. I never do it BECAUSE they are there. Don't ask me why such a weird thing controls my working habits, it just does.
Well guys,(that is if there is anyone reading this) thats it for today(and I doubt there is anyone.....reading this I mean...). Help if you can, leave comments of 'what a sad pathetic loner you are, why the fuck are you writing this blog?' or 'don't worry every things gonna work out for the best' but please comment. btw, I would prefer the first of the two comments, the latter sounds so cliche and FAKE. And I'd prefer the blunt comments over the marshmallow-y ones.
God. I talk too much. Anyways...
Yours in Eternity,
Black Rose
